Men Being Stalked

Males being stalked. It’s not an expression you hear every day, or even occasionally. Maybe that’s the problem? By far the number of stalkers are men stalking women. That’s what you naturally think of when the word “stalking” is mentioned.

But men being stalked exists, and year on year the number of men reporting being stalked is growing.

The crime of stalking is vastly under reported for many reasons. Some male victims may find that harmful gender stereotypes around masculinity prevent them from discussing these issues or reaching out for help until they’re in crisis. According to research by the Male Survivors Partnership some men can take over 31 years to disclose their ordeals. The statement notes that attitudes around masculinity can mean male victims take a long time to report these experiences.

Especially if the stalker is female. That said, as far as 2018, the BBC’s Freedom of Information request from police forces around the country suggested men were almost as likely to be stalked by other men, as by women.

Yet, the crime survey for England and Wales estimated that in the year ending March 2020, there were over 1.5m offences of stalking; 526,000 men (35%) and 977,000 women. The proportion of men who reported being stalked rose to 20.5% (up from 16%).

The reason for men being stalked is no different from women; infatuation, jealousy, jilted lover, ex-spouse won’t let go are the more popular explanations.

Stalking is a devastating crime and according to the Equation charity website, its impact can result in major life changes for the survivor. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Living in constant fear
• Invasion of privacy
• Threats of violence
• Loss of employment
• Having to move
• Isolation, unable to go out
• Potential physical injuries
• Depression, Anxiety & PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder)

Jan Berry, Co-CEO of Protection Against Stalking (PAS) said, “Stalking is an insidious crime which leaves over 90% of its victims with symptoms of PTSD. It affects men as well as women.

The nature of stalking means that it affects survivors for long periods of time. According to a report by Dr Lorraine Sherridan, stalking can last anywhere from 1 month to 43 years. The average length of time being between 6 months and 2 years.

Charities, organisations supporting those being stalked or survived stalking, the police and government advocate men to come forward, seek help and report if they’ve been the victim of stalking.

For their part, the Home Office pledged to go further in helping men and boys who were victims of crimes such as domestic abuse and sexual violence, when in March 2019, the UK government introduced a Position Statement on male victims of crimes considered in the cross-government strategy on ending Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG). Setting out 12 specific commitments to better enable male victims and survivors to come forward and receive the support they need and bring perpetrators to justice. 

For those men that require help, or simply wish to talk to someone, several channels now exist:

• If you feel you’re being stalked and in danger, dial 999
• Respect – men’s advice line. Freephone 0808 8010327
• If you feel you’re being stalked but not in immediate danger, email support@protectionagainststalking.org